Last Updated On: November 24, 2022

Divorce Over Sexual Incompatibility

With the assistance of an experienced New York divorce attorney, a couple may be able to utilize specific grounds to file for a divorce in New York. Divorces in New York can be divided into broad categories: divorce through separation, fault-based divorces, and no-fault divorces. 

  • Divorce through separation – involves having filed a legally-binding separation agreement or petitioning for a court-ordered judicial separation. 
  • At-fault or fault-based divorces – usually involve abandonment, imprisonment, or cruel and inhuman treatment. 
  • No-fault divorces – can stem from such things as irreconcilable differences. Being separated is not a requirement for a no-fault divorce. However, the couple is required to resolve matters such as the distribution of assets and liabilities, child support and custody, etc.

While it does not fall neatly into any of the three categories, many people consider sexual incompatibility as a valid reason to get divorced. If you’re considering divorcing your spouse due to sexual incompatibility, it is important to understand that this is a common issue and an acceptable reason. However, sexual incompatibility might only be symptomatic of a bigger issue in your marriage that is ultimately the reason why you might want to seek a divorce.

If you are considering getting a divorce due to sexual incompatibility with your spouse, getting the help of an experienced New York divorce attorney is important. Our team of skilled New York divorce attorneys at the law offices of Juan Luciano Divorce Lawyer may be able to help you navigate the process of filing a divorce. Call us today at (212) 537-5859 or fill out our online form to schedule a complimentary consultation.

Sexual Incompatibility and Divorce

Sexual incompatibility can lead to divorce in and of itself but it can also be a factor in other leading causes of divorce. Aside from abusive behavior and marital infidelity, the rest of the causes of divorce in this list are considered no-fault grounds for divorce in New York.

Marital Infidelity

One of the leading causes of divorce in the US is marital infidelity or cheating on your spouse. According to a study by the Institute for Family Studies, 16% of people who are married or who have been married before admit to cheating. Additional statistics from the American Psychological Association show that up to 40% of divorces in the US are due to infidelity. While the reasons why a spouse is unfaithful can vary, one of the most common is sexual incompatibility with the person they married. 

Abusive Behavior

Regardless if you are married or not, consent still needs to factor into a relationship. Spousal rape is a kind of domestic violence that often flies under the radar due to the fact that many people expect sex as a result of being married. Studies suggest that men and women have almost the same rates of victimization of sexual violence perpetrated by their spouse or a person they live together with. Victims of marital rape are also more socialized to accept the abuse and therefore are less likely to report instances of sexual violence committed by their spouse. 

If you feel that you may be a victim of spousal rape or domestic violence, it is important to seek the help of an experienced New York family law attorney.

Lack of Preparation for Marriage

Relationship experts are of the opinion that America’s obsession with marriage is one of the leading causes of why people end up in marriages where people are sexually incompatible. According to the US Census Bureau, 9% of Americans in their 30s have already divorced at least once in their lifetime. The societal pressure to be married before 30 often contributes to individuals settling for someone they feel would be a good wife or husband or a good mother or father to potential children. While those are great qualities for someone you’d build a family with, some people may find it difficult to reconcile that their spouse can’t also be an ideal lover.

Lack of Intimacy 

It may sound like a circular argument to say that lack of intimacy can lead to sexual incompatibility. However, lack of intimacy can stem from a number of factors including spending too much time taking care of children or at work. A person who has a higher libido than their spouse may feel that their needs aren’t being met in the relationship. 

People also refer to the decrease in sexual intimacy as the end of the ‘honeymoon’ period in a marriage. While this concept is not alien to many couples, other factors may be at play.

Intimacy does not have to be physical in nature but there are couples who need to feel that emotional bond before turning it into a sexual one. Couples who spend a lot of time together and enjoy each other’s company are more like to be sexually compatible. Trust is also a great part of intimacy in a relationship. Being able to be vulnerable and authentic with your partner can contribute a lot to being sexually compatible with them.

Poor Communication

Not being able to properly communicate with your spouse can have a negative effect on almost every aspect of your relationship. Poor communication can make a couple passive-aggressive with each other, or worse, openly hostile. Sexual incompatibility can result from not being able to communicate your wants, needs, and expectations from your partner. 

What Should You Do If You And Your Spouse Are Sexually Incompatible?

When spouses find themselves sexually incompatible, they typically don’t immediately consider getting a divorce. Most couples undergo couples’ therapy or counseling and sex therapy and find that it helps their relationship. However, if you have tried other fixing the issue of being sexually incompatible with your spouse, it may be time to move on from the marriage.

A divorce over sexual incompatibility doesn’t need to be contentious. In most no-fault divorces, it is common for couples to want to cooperate in the process of ending their marriage. If you and your spouse would like to explore this option, the advice of an experienced New York uncontested divorce lawyer is important. A skilled lawyer may be able to help you resolve matters such as child custody, alimony, and asset and liability distribution. 

At the law offices of Juan Luciano Divorce Lawyer, our team of skilled New York attorneys may be able to assist you in all aspects of family law. We provide assistance to couples seeking to create an uncontested divorce agreement. If your divorce negotiations reach a stalemate, our top-rated contested divorce lawyers are also here to help.

Juan Luciano, an experienced New York family law attorney, has helped many couples and families by providing quality counsel and representation in mediation and divorce. He is a firm believer in using a balance of cooperative negotiation and aggressive litigation when necessary to protect his clients’ rights.

Contact us today to schedule a free consultation. Call (212) 537-5859 or fill out our online form.

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