Although we all hear stories of the elusive “friendly” divorce, they are a rarity. However, we know that properly navigated, you can end your marriage peacefully if you are willing to do the work. Speak with an experienced New York City divorce lawyer before you make any decisions.
Accept the Emotions
Emotional pain is the reality of divorce. If you expect otherwise, you are setting yourself up for self-judgment and disappointment. There is a sense of loss, just like losing any other loved one. Except this person is not gone from the world. He or she is still there, sometimes infuriating you at your core. In some senses, dealing with the loss of someone who is still there is more difficult than dealing with the loss of someone you will never see again.
Divorce is traumatic. You may be facing feelings of rejection, anger, resentment, fear, emptiness, or a loss of trust. Whereas these are very understandable emotions, they will also dissipate with time. Accept them, and yet don’t give them more fuel than they deserve. You have a future to focus on.
Train Yourself to See the Business Aspects of Divorce as Separate From the Relationship Part
A divorce requires you to see the dissolution of a marriage through a business dissolution lens. You have assets that need to be divided, children you need to co-parent, and perhaps spousal support to negotiate. These are all things that will require a certain amount of level-headedness. Know your legal rights. Knowledge is power. Your Bronx divorce lawyer will help you with that.
As a couple, you may be able to take advantage of mediation or a collaborative divorce. If you can do this, it sets you up for a future of cooperation with your ex-spouse. But even litigated divorces can happen without bitterness. And the courts look more kindly to couples who can navigate this time without resorting to unabated anger and conflict.
The Good of the Children
When a couple has children, the court’s primary objective is the best interests of the children.
Never talk badly to your children about your partner. The courts will make many decisions based on how well you can navigate co-parenting and dealing with each other without drawing the children into it. It will help if you, as a couple, take that approach from day one.
Custody, visitation, and child support should not be your battlefield. Your children will already be affected by your divorce. Don’t make it more difficult for them by bringing them into the conflict or expecting them to choose sides.
Rediscover Yourself
There was a “you” as an individual before your marriage. It may have gotten obscured inside your relationship. Divorce means that you will need to find your individual voice again. Depending on the person, this may take much work and time. But it is essential so you can find a way forward. Take advantage of interests that you left aside while you were married. Find a new sense of purpose.
If you can distance yourself from the person who was the victim of a broken relationship to a victor with a future to attend to, it can set up a bright spot on the horizon, even if it seems far away. As they say, sometimes you have to fake it ‘til you make it. Every day becomes easier.
What is the best time to file for divorce in New York City?
It depends on what ground you have chosen to base your divorce proceedings. If you base your divorce case on abandonment you will need to prove that you have been separated from your spouse for at least one year. You must also show proof that your spouse was in prison for at least 3 years.
You must be able to prove that you are living apart under a decree, judgment, or separation order of the spouses before you file a divorce case.
In New York’s No-Fault Law, each party must swear that their marriage was irretrievably ended for at least six (6) months. You can also file a divorce proceeding at any time. However, there are some limitations on the time you may be able to do so.
Is it okay if my spouse doesn’t want to divorce me?
The spouse who is not requesting a divorce must make every attempt to stop the other spouse from showing that the grounds are valid. The court won’t grant a divorce unless the spouse is successful at preventing this. The court will grant a divorce because New York is now a state that has no fault.
New York’s No-Fault Divorces require that all marital issues be settled before the No-Fault divorcement can be granted. All issues regarding custody, support, and equitable division of marital assets must be addressed first.
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